Blood in the water.

Did you know that sharks have been around 420 million years? Did you also know that some sharks can detect 1 part per million of blood in water? And it's said that many sharks can hear splashing about from miles away.

I think my children may be part shark. I'm currently bleeding extreme exhaustion into the water. I am also thrashing about in the depths of a headache. I'm telling you, they knew this from the minute I woke up this morning.

My oldest son, Collin, seems to be the most sensitive to this phenomenon. Perhaps it develops with age or perhaps it's his super power. Maybe, like hearing or touch senses increase in a blind person, assessing people's feelings is the way Collin compensates for his other disabilities. But whatever it is it's eerily accurate. He was in rare form from the moment he woke up.

Yesterday he lost his 15 minutes of Wii time because he had, for the second time that day, been caught sneaking bites of cheese directly out of the block. This really wouldn't have been such an issue if he wasn't sensitive to dairy. But, alas, he is and he is well aware of this fact.

So, when he woke up this morning, this was the first thing on his mind. Persistence may also be an outcome of some of his struggles. So, as I stumbled down the stairs, he was already complaining to Chris about the absolute horror that his mother would be so unfair as to take away the Wii for the day. Then he turned and found the offending party sitting tired and achy from a night without sleep, and he smelled the blood in the water.

It started out quietly, circling his prey from afar, trying to assess how incapacitated I was. Muttering under his breath while casting glares in my direction. Then it began to build as he circled closer and closer. "You're so mean." he stated. "It's not fair." he announced. "GIVE ME BACK MY TIME, YOU BIG MEANIE" he screamed.

I ignored the tantruming. Then I looked beseechingly at Chris and told him my head hurt. It seems this confirmed Collin's suspicion that I was in a weakened state and the attack began. Marching into the room, he screamed, "YOU'RE MEAN, MEAN, MEAN! IT'S NOT FAIR! GIVE ME BACK MY TIME!!"

Suffice it to say the tantruming continued on and off for a long while. I asked the boys to play outside and again, "I was mean and not fair." Then Collin went outside slamming the door over and over again, until finally, in my weakened state, I reacted. I sent him to his room where he continued to yell and scream and tantrum and push every single button I had.

I decided it was time for a feint at stregnth. I sat ignoring every yell, mumble and scream. I ignored the slamming door. I ignored the clothes thrown down the stairs. And slowly, very slowly, the shark started losing interest. Perhaps he had misinterpreted. Perhaps the prey wasn't truly weakened enough to go in for the kill. Perhaps, just perhaps, his mother was coming around and her stregnth had returned. Perhaps it was time to give up and find something else to entertain himself with.

Success! He sits quietly reading a book, as if nothing ever happened. Unfortunately, his youngest brother, Thomas has not given up. He is down stairs jumping on his brothers, ignoring their pleas to stop. Waiting for my reaction. Knowing that ignoring bad attention seeking behavior is even more exhausting then reacting to it. Knowing Collin has already started the process of weakening the prey. I don't think that sharks hunt in packs, but perhaps this is a new evolved behavior?

I need a nap. I need some ibuprofen. Most importantly, I need a shark suit, a padded sound proof shark suit.